Es ist noch kein Meister vom Himmel gefallen.
(German saying)

Wheelie secrets - the key to success

How do you learn to wheelie? It is often said you need to practice a lot, but the truth is: very few people have acquired the skill that way. Sadly, patience and perseverence are sparse characteristics, not to mention talent. Still, everybody knows somebody who can do it: cover a fair distance on just the rear wheel, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. While most who tried failed miserably, eventough on the whole they could be pretty skillful riders. Why? How come others can and you can not?

Do these people stand out from the rest by a congenital talent, a wheelie-gene of some sorts? No, they just had the guts to dive into the unknow, so to speak. They were willing to pay a price. A high price, make no mistake about it. This is a choice available for everyone, eventhough it is not generally known. One hesitates to talk about certain things. It is safe to say this is a bit of a taboo subject. A pity, because as a result, for tons of people the wheelie will remain an unattainable ideal, despite endless fruitless practicing.

Now when you think this is about doping then you are way off. The method discussed here is used since ancient times, proven effective, and doesn't pose a health threat for the human body at all. But I wouldn't call it exactly "natural" either. As a matter of fact it is supernatural. I'm talking about the classic pact with the devil: your eternal soul and accessory peace of mind in return for the coveted wheelie skill.

In our modern times Lucifer is still at our service to fulfill our biggest desires. This certainly includes bike skills such as the wheelie. In fact: this has since long been one of the most fullfilled wishes by Beëlzebul, next to for example playing the guitar really well, and financial security. The sacrifice asked in return is no doubt huge. But so are the benefits of being able to wheelie. It's one of those rare things that can make this mortal coil at least bearable to some extend. If it is worth it, is entirely up to you to decide...

Aspirants considering this option may have lots of questions. How do you make first contact? What formalities must be adhered to? How bad is it to lose your soul anyway? And is for eternity really forever and ever?

To start with the first question, basically everything takes care of itself. Traditionally people go out at midnight to find a quiet road somewhere (the mythical "crossroads"), and this is indeed usually when Satan appears with the contract. But this ritual is not strictly necessary and as a matter of fact the procedure largely formless. Once you've made up your mind you want to deal with him, he will know where to find you. The contract is simply a piece of paper requiring your signature. Don't try to read it, it is written in a language unknown to you. Moreover, it will irritate the devil if you start asking tough questions. Trust me, you don't want to irritate him!

Once the formalities have been dealt with, then usually everything will be in the bag pretty quickly. Your friends may grow suspicious if all of a sudden you bring a wheelie to class. That's why people often take care of business during holidays, or come up with a simular cunning ruse. Fortunately, the loss of the immortal soul is usually not too bad. Truth is, most people are long doomed anyway, so there is no substantial setback in it for them really. But it is a tough decision no matter what, especially because of its irrevocable nature. If you are in doubt, try the other way to master the wheelie.